Kakashi get drunk
by evil-sensei iruka
Summary: what happened every time that Kakashi was late? well this is a little idea but be warned... all people are ooc and it is just plain crazy...


_This is made by Shadow-binder and Evil-Sensei Iruka_

Yeah so this is a strange thing…

Pairs will be:

KakashiXKiba

DeidaraXIruka

EbisuXJiraya

Please don't ask why…

We began the story on a trampoline and decided that we had to write it…

_(__thisiswhatyourpeoplewouldcallalinedivider)_

Inuzuka Kiba was walking around Konoha on a nice and sunny Friday night. It was getting dark and the fireflies were out.

Kiba giggled out loud, courtesy of a funny part of the book that he was currently reading.

That book was none other than Icha Icha paradise.

It was then that he heard a scary giggle from none other than Hatake Kakashi.

The most scary part about the giggle was that it came from a dark and empty alley.

So, being the curious dog that he is, he went to investigate.

"I'm not wearing underwear today." Kakashi sang out loud and wery off key. Kiba winched and fought urge to protect his poor ears.

He found Kakashi holding a wery suspicious looking bottle.

It smelled strongly of alcohol, Kiba twitched and wondered why he went into the alley.

Kakashi looked up and saw the book, his eye widened as he saw the title.

Kiba looked a little scared and backed away from Kakashi. Kiba tried to hide the book from Kakashis sight.

"Give me the book." Kakashi said in a zombie-like voice. Kiba backed even further away.

"Err, what book?" Kiba asked nervously while looking every other place then at Kakashi.

"My book." Kakashi said and stood up too quickly for Kiba to notice. That, however, wasn't the best idea. It had caused Kakashi to wobble around and almost fall.

"Kakashi? Are you drunk?" Kiba asked nervously.

"No you are." Kakashi slurred and walked towards Kiba.

"You want to trade?" Kakashi asked as he held a bottle up under Kibas nose.

"What is that?" Kiba asked suspiciously.

"It´s coke." Kakashi slurred and wobbled a bit.

"Somehow I don´t believe you." Kiba muttered and backed away even further.

"It tastes good." Kakashi said like a happy idiot.

"Err… Okay?" Kiba said or rather asked.

"Yes." Kakashi said and showed the bottle under Kibas nose. Then he dropped it… All over poor little Kiba.

"Oops?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes oops." Kiba growled.

"Are you drunk Kiba?" Kakashi asked.

"No… You are." Kiba said with a twitch.

"Aren't you too young to read that book?" Kakashi asked, completely ignoring what Kiba had said.

"No… I'm thirteen for crying out loud." Kiba answered.

"Don´t you have to be, like, eighteen to read that book?" Kakashi asked again.

"I found it lying on the street?" Kiba asked.

"IT´S MINE! YOU STOLE IT!" Kakashi yelled.

"No I found it." Kiba muttered and tried to hide the book even further than he already was.

"I will take it for your own sake." Kakashi said like a teacher to a student. His mind was back to his lessons with team 7.

"My sake? You're the one who is drunk." Kiba said.

"Young minds are easy to damage." Kakashi mumbled.

"You are crazy… And drunk." Kiba said.

"But I'm NOT drunk… I'm just happy and a little lost on the road of life." Kakashi retorted.

"What are you doing to my leg?" Kiba asked warily.

"I'm just trying to find my book." Kakashi answered.

"Between my legs?" Kiba asked.

"It could be anywhere?" Kakashi retorted.

"Stop trying to put your hands down my pants." Kiba screamed.

"No book?" Kakashi asked.

"No… There is no book down my pants stupid." Kiba answered.

"Wanna trade?" Kakashi asked as he took out some candy.

"No not really… I don´t know where it has been." Kiba answered.

"In my bottle." Kakashi explained.

"And what is in your bottle?" Kiba asked.

"Wait I don´t want to know." Kiba continued quickly.

"Sake." Kakashi said.

"I said that I did NOT want to know what was in the god damn bottle." Kiba muttered angrily.

Kakashi sang (still wery out of tune): I don´t care cause I'm gay.

"Wait… Your gay?" Kiba asked.

"Who said that? How did you know?" Kakashi asked confusedly.

"Err… You did?" Kiba asked.

"When? How? Where am I?" Kakashi asked.

"It´s Friday night, you got drunk and you are next to my house." Kiba answered.

"Where is Iruka?" Kakashi asked.

"Over there, in that pink dress." Kiba said and pointed at Iruka.

"Pink? He MUST look good." Kakashi said and drooled a little.

"No… He actually look wery stupid." Kiba said.

"IRUKA… COME OVER HERE… HELP MEEE!" Kakashi yelled and waved at Iruka.

Iruka just ignored him and continued to speak with Deidara.

"Come on Kakashi… I better take you inside." Kiba said and began to drag Kakashi into his house.

"Where is my dog?" Kakashi asked with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"He's probably in the summons world." Kiba.

"I can't go anywhere without my dog." Kakashi wailed.

"Then summon him." Kiba said.

"I forgot my scroll… Did you steal that too?" Kakashi asked.

"No, I did not steal your stupid scroll." Kiba answered.

"Where are you taking me?" Kakashi asked.

"To your home." Kiba answered.

"And where is that?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"The way that I am taking you." Kiba answered.

"NOOOO… I DOONNN´TT WANT TO GOOOO." Kakashi wailed.

"Yes you do Kakashi." Kiba said.

"No that way." Kakashi yelled and began to drag Kiba down another alley.

"No, not that way… That's where my house is." Kiba wailed.

"It looks like my house." Kakashi said.

"Kakashi… Let go of my arm… You are crushing it dammit." Kiba yelled and tried to get his arm out of Kakashis grip.

"But your holding onto me too." Kakashi said happily.

"No Kakashi, I am not holding onto you… You are just imagining it in your drunken mind." Kiba muttered.

"But I'm not drunk, you are. You are the who smells." Kakashi countered.

"I only smell cause you poured sake all over me." Kiba muttered.

"Don´t lie to a jounin." Kakashi said warningly and stuck a kunai at Kibas face.

"Get that thing out of my face." Kiba yelled worriedly.

"You are a good boy." Kakashi and began to pet Kiba.

"Stop petting me… I'm not a freaking dog." Kiba said angrily.

"But you are… You smell like one." Kakashi said happily.

"That does not make me a dog." Kiba muttered.

"Give me the dog on your head." Kakashi said.

"But I don´t have a dog on my head." Kiba said with wide eyes.

"Give me the dog." Kakashi growled.

"Meep." Kiba… Meeped? And ran for his door.

"DOOOOOOG!" Kakashi yelled and chased Kiba.

Kiba got to his house and slammed the door in Kakashis face.

"Good… I got away." Kiba said relived.

"Give me the dog." Kakashi said from above Kiba. Kiba looked up and saw Kakashi in a window, he looked threatening.

They heard someone walk past outside and Kakashi looked out, just to see Sasuke.

"Hey Sasuke… I have a book that you need to read." Kakashi yelled and waved the book around.

"Hn." Sasuke… Hn´ed and took the book, just to walk away.

"Hey… Where did you get the book from?" Kiba asked.

"Your pocket." Kakashi answered.

"What the hell were you doing in my pocket?" Kiba asked.

"Looking for my book." Kakashi answered and turned to Kiba again.

"What? Stop looking at me like that." Kiba said and back into a wall.

Kakashi jumped down to stand in front of Kiba.

"You are a good doggie." Kakashi said happily and began to pet Kiba again.

Kiba twitched but didn't try to push Kakashi away.

"But now I'm tired." Kakashi said and went to lie down on Kibas sofa.

"Then go home." Kiba muttered.

"But I don't know where I live." Kakashi whined.

"Do I have to take you home then?" Kiba grumbled and twitched.

"No I'll just steal your sofa." Kakashi said sleepily.

"Oh hell no, go home." Kiba half shouted half muttered.

"Zzzzzzzz." Was the only thing heard from Kakashi.

"Okay, okay… I give up." Kiba sighed and went to his room to sleep.

_Later that night_

Kakashi had woken up and had went outside. There he stood and yelled for Deidara and Jiraya to come and save him from evil boogey-man.

Ebisu came walking down the street and looked strangely at Kakashi, then Ebisu got tackled from behind by Jiraya who began to tell him how much he loved him.

Deidara came flying on one of his birdies with Iruka, who was still clad in a pink dress. They landed in front of Kakashi and sweat dropped when they saw that he had fallen asleep while he was still standing.

They saw that the door to Kibas house was still open so they went in.

Jiraya and Ebisu stole the couch while Deidara and Iruka hid in a closet after having put Kakashi in the same bed as Kiba.

Kakashi spooned Kiba and bit his ear which made Kiba wake up.

"WHAT THE HELL!!" Kiba yelled and tried to get away from the jounin.

"My puppy." Kakashi said happily and tightened his hold on the boy.

"I am not your fucking puppy stupid-ass drunken man." Kiba growled.

"PuppyPuppyPuppyPuppyPuppyPuppyyyyyy." Kakashi sang.

"Remove your fucking hand from my pants." Kiba growled and tried to get away.

"Zzzzzzzz." Was the only thing that, once again, was heard from the jounin.

"Oh fuck… I'm so gonna die." Kiba yelled and tried to push Kakashi out of the bed.

Kakashi bit his ear again and murmured "Bad dog.".

"I'm not a fucking dog." Kiba muttered and tried to fall asleep.

_Morning_

Jiraya, Ebisu, Deidara and Iruka had disappeared to their own homes to do god knows what.

Kiba woke up and found his face pressed against Kakashis chest.

"What the fucking shit is happening?" Kiba yelled and woke Kakashi.

"Oh good morning." Kakashi said happily.

"There is nothing good about this fucking morning." Kiba grumbled.

"What am I doing here?" Kakashi asked.

"You were drunk and wouldn't leave me alone." Kiba muttered.

"Not again." Kakashi grumbled.

"Wait… This happened before?" Kiba asked.

"First time was with Iruka." Kakashi just said.

"Fuck, shit, drunken-ass pervert." Kiba said and, once again, tried to get away from Kakashi.

Kakashi looked at the watch and screamed "Is the clock this much? Damn I have lessons with team 7." And then he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

And here we have one of the reasons as to why he is always late.

He was lost of the road of Kiba…

Or Iruka…

Or Deidara…

Or Ebisu…

Or Jiraya…

Get the drift?

Kiba twitched and looked at the clock.

"Dammit… I was supposed to meet Shino now." Kiba screamed and ran out the door in his pajamas.

**He didn't know that he would get to see Kakashi so much more in the future.**

_(thisiswhatyourpeoplewouldcallalinedivider)_

We swear to drunk we are not god…

Press the review button please and hold your god damn flames to yourself…


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